Tainted
by Take-bamboo
Summary: To him, she was pure and innocent. He wanted to protect her from the darkness of the war. Yet, he never knew her heart was already dark and her soul was tainted. To her, he was once a bloodlusting demon. Yet, now she started to see that he was still so pure and innocent, like a child.
1. Chapter 1

This is my attempt to write a drabble series of my favourite pairing in RK.

…..

Tonight he was out again, carrying out the assassin. She caught the sight of the black envelope under his sleeve when he practiced his swordsmanship in the courtyard. No matter how hard he tried to hide the fact from her, she could always tell when he would be out. It was obvious to her. She would notice the subtle change in his grim expression and the tensed muscles whenever he received a black envelope.

Heaven Justice - that was what the Ishin Shishi called his work.

She thought she disliked the Bakufu but now she knew she hated the Ishin Shishi more. They were all hypocrites. They did whatever they wanted all in the name of justice.

For countless times, she overheard the Choshu Ishin Shishi discussed and campaigned over the equality for the four classes.

"_The three hundred reign of the Tokugawa will soon be over. The curtain raises on a new age. The age when the oppressed cry themselves to sleep is over. The age of equality for the four classes has come." _

Somehow, she knew all those pretty words about equality of the four classes were just one big lie. There would never be equality in the world. _Life is unfair._ In the end, the Choshu, Tosa and Satsuma clan were only vying for power and dominance. Those who disagreed with them were destroyed, even if they had to distort the truth to do it.

_Despicable men._

Katsura Kogoro came to talk to her earlier that night.

_Have you heard of mad justice?_

_Hitokiri Battousai was the key to the revolution._

_With this, we can create a new world, a new era. _

After Katsura left, Tomoe wrote in her diary before retiring to bed. However, no matter how hard she tried to sleep, she could not. She glanced at the window still, empty. _He was not back yet. _Her eyes hardened as she remembered the reason he was out that night. Katsura Kogoro was the man who wrote the black letters. Katsura was the one who caused Kiyosato Akira's death, indirectly. She should seek revenge from the leader too, this Katsura Kogoro. Hitokiri Battousai was merely a puppet of the Ishin Shishi. He was merely doing his job. Her heart wavered. He was just a child. He was just a tool. So was she…a tool. Well, a tool did not need to think.

_Knowing more about the people that I kill would disrupt my concentration. I do what I do to create a better world. That's all I need to know._

What did he want to build? A utopia? His intentions were noble but…what about the rest. The Tosa, Satsuma and Choshu clan. No, she could not agree with him.

Murder is wrong.

Yet how different was she from the people who were fighting this war?

She dreamt of peace too. She dreamt of a world where people live harmoniously, having equal rights. She dreamt of a world where women have the power to make choices. She dreamt a world where her father would not need to obey everything the Bakufu ordered. She dreamt a world where people could live without anger, hatred, misery and fear. Yes, she dreamt before.

Yet, they were merely dreams. Dreams never to be fulfilled.

Her heart was dark and her soul was tainted. She never thought things would turn out this way. She was prepared to dutifully commit herself in plotting the death of the Hitokiri Battousai. She had found his weakness.

Yet, what was she waiting for?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sometimes, she would peek at his sleeping form on the window still, clutching the katana as if it was his life, his precious. It was an unhealthy way of falling asleep but no one seemed to tell him about it. Maybe they did tried, well, she tried once but it was useless. She could not recall when was that crazy day when she felt the urge to talk to him about his bad sleeping habits. It was bad for his health and not to mention the quality of the sleep he was getting. No matter how young or vibrant he was, the effects of the bad sleeping posture was showing.

Moreover, it was not really her fault that he was sleeping this way. Upon the next morning when he brought her home, the Okami gave her a new set of futon to sleep in his room. His futon was still folded neatly at a corner. She doubted he even used the futon before.

"_You will fall ill if you continue to sleep that way." _

_He regarded her with a curious look, then he merely shrugged his shoulder and leaned his back on the wall and answered, "I was used to this."_

_She frowned in annoyance. That was as good as not answering her question. How dare he ignore her concern? Even Enishi knew how to take care of himself._

"_It's late. Good night," Kenshin said before he closed his eyes, clutching onto his katana and ending the discussion. _

She pitied the boy. He had no one. At least, she had father and Enishi and her friends in Edo. He never really interacted with the people in the Inn. The most he did was greeted the Choshu han and talked to the Okami. He never joined the parties organized by the Choshu hans, Most of the time, when he was free, he would stay in his room or wander in the streets.

Sometimes, she would spot him practicing his swordsmanship at the back garden. His face was always gloomy and serious, and he wielded his sword robotically. He was blocking himself from thinking of the people he was going to assassinate. The worn look on his handsome young face pained her.

He was still so young, so naïve.

_If there is a new world that can be created by my sword…..I will kill._

What foolishness. There was no way his sword could create a new era. All he left was bloodshed and hatred. The Bakufu were already taking action against this assassinations, which meant more killings. It was a vicious cycle. He said he killed to make others happy but it did not make him happy at all. It was destroying him.

He knew nothing at all.

He was the lost cat.

...

This series of drabbles will be my attempt to write about and interpret the characters. On the side note, I am taking Japanese studies as my electives. :) Hopefully, I would be able to share some of the interesting features of Japan during this era.


	3. Chapter 3

She glanced at the opened window. It was a cloudless night. It was very late. Still, he was not back yet.

She felt the moisture gathering on her forehead and wiped them with the back of her hand. She was sweating. She frowned slightly. It was probably due to the warm weather, she thought. She decided to wash her face and cool herself down before she tried to sleep again. Picking up the outer coat of the kimono at her bedside, she wore it quickly and got out of the room, heading for the bathhouse quietly.

After she soaked the small towel in the water, she rinsed out the excess water and wiped her face. It was freshening and cooling. She smiled to herself when she felt much more comfortable. Pouring away the used water, she watched blankly as the water flowed down the drain.

"_Be patient. I want to prove that I am worthy of you."_

She understood why he left for Kyoto. She understood well the code of the Bushido. Honour and loyalty was the prior concern of a samurai. Affairs of the heart was something idle, insignificant. After all, love was a dangerous disadvantage.

She remembered standing on the streets, watching the newly formed Mimawarigumi marched across the streets of Edo along the roadway to Kyoto. The samurais looked solemn and serious. They had the look of someone seeing death in their eyes. News from Kyoto was depressing, and it was clear that the Bakufu was losing their power. It was obvious the Tokuguwa regime would fall. The question was only when. It was a funeral march.

Yet, when she looked at him, she saw only hope and optimism in his eyes. He was so gullible and loyal to the Bakufu. Sensing her eyes on him, he turned and spotted her easily among the crowd. She was wearing a white kimono, and in her hands was a bouquet of sakura flowers. She was beautiful. He smiled brightly and waved his hand at her.

_Don't go…._

She wanted to run up to him and tell him to stay with her. But again, she reminded herself that she was born into a samurai class. She would not act rashly, especially among the townspeople. It would stain the reputation of the samurai class.

She only smiled in return and watched his back retreating down the Edo street.


	4. Perilous thoughts

Perilous thoughts

She heard footsteps approaching and the door whispered quietly. Quick as a lightning, she grabbed arranged her outer robe, it was careless of her to wear only her sleep wear. The silhouette of a person shone on the window of the bath house and it was moving towards the door. The door opened with a creak and Tomoe stared hard at the intruder of her peace.

"My, what a surprise to see you, Tomoe chan¬," Kamo said with a smirk as he stood at the entrance of the bath house with a tower across his neck. "Taking a bath huh?"

Kamo was a member of the Choshu Ishi Shishi. Though Tomoe was unsure of his duties in the Choshu han, she was aware of the way he looked at her whenever they met in the inn during meal times. Sometimes when she refilled his bowl with rice, he would take the opportunity to touch her hands when she handed the bowl back to him.

Tomoe regarded him coldly and picked up her small towel, prepared to walk out of the bath house as quickly as she could.

However, Kamo stubbornly stood at the opened door, blocking the way out.

"Would you excuse me?" she said politely, her eyes showed nothing but slight frustration.

"Tsk. You sure are eager to go but this Kamo has much to talk to you," said Kamo as he gave her a suggestive glance.

She regarded him with a cold stare and waited for him to continue.

"You are a beautiful woman, Tomoe chan~. I can't believe Himura would give up such a wonderful chance. Surely the _**boy**_ had not touched you," Kamo said as he placed one hand on the side of the door, towering over her as if he was trying to imitate her.

He reeked of sake and his face was red. Tomoe was certain he had just came back from those little parties the Choshu hans enjoyed whenever they defeated another troop from the Bakufu side. She was well aware of where they went to for their parties, hitting the red light districts.

"Why don't we enjoy ourselves, hm?" Kamo continued with a sly smile.

Tomoe frowned and when she looked into his eyes, she took a step back. It was obvious what this man wanted. Lust. She was more sickened than frightened by the way he looked at her.

Grasping the small tower tightly, she said calmly, "If you have nothing else, I would like to rest."

Kamo chuckled and leaned towards her ears, whispered, "So cold. Do you know what the Choshu han calls you? Cool beauty."

…_. Bastards….._

Then Kamo turned to look at her, his face barely an inch away from hers. "I know what you want, Tomoe chan¬. You desire the boy's death."

Feeling extremely uncomfortable and disgusted with the man's presence, Tomoe took a big step backward, she crossed her arms as she glanced at him indifferently, "Who are you?"

She thought the Choshu hans were loyal to their own people. Yet, there were always traitors among any organisation. She had known spies among the Tokugawa government who fed information to the Choshu hans alike. They were the worst type of people. They dishonoured the code of the bushido for money and power. Cowards.

Kamo snickered, "It is of no importance to you. I take no sides. Someone offered me a better price." He paused before he continued with bitterness in his voice, "Plus I always wanted to dispose of the boy. Hitokiri Battousai, my foot. He's a nuisance." Then he took a step towards Tomoe, easily closing the gap between them. "Say, if I tell the boy or Katsura about your secret, I am sure you know what will happen to you."

_How dare he try to threaten her?_

Tomoe regarded him indifferently. She was growing impatient with this man. This ugly, foul, disgusting toad. This toad who knew nothing about her. Nothing at all. She wanted to return to her room – Himura's room this instance. "It does not matter. Do as you please," she said softly and made a move to walk around him out of the bath house.

He grabbed her hand, making her drop the towel unconsciously. His gripped was strong and she flinched as he lowered his head to her hand.

"So smooth. I can't wait to taste you, Tomoe chan," Kamo murmured, his eyes flashed with flames of lust as he planted a kiss on the back of her hand.

Tomoe knew she was at a disadvantage. This man was strong, which meant she could not fight him. The situation was worse that there was no law to protect women; men could go unpunished for violating a woman. Curse the Bakufu and the disrespect for women.

"You are drunk. Please refrain from doing something you would regret later," Tomoe said as she looked at him coldly.

"Hahaha, I will never regret making you my woman, Tomoe chan¬," Kamo laughed as if he had just heard a terrible joke.

…_.I will make you my woman…._

…_..NO!….._

Suppressing a shiver, Tomoe closed her eyes shut to shake off the memories. She pressed her lips together and reopened her eyes to look for any way out. Her eyes darkened as she found what she sought and she made her decision. She carefully avoided the hungry eyes of the man and eyed the bathtub, "Would you like to take a shower first? I could scrub your back for you."

At the suggestion, Kamo eyes lit with desire and joy.

_He would have her._

"You are learning really fast, my love," Kamo laughed and let go her hand as he prepared to undress.


	5. Blood

Blood

Kenshin lured in the shadow as he waited for his targets to appear. He crushed the black envelope after he remembered the names of the people he was to assassinate. This time, the man was a high rank samurai from the Bakufu side. He probably would have two or more body guards with him. Kenshin closed his eyes and mentally thought about his job. It was always the same routine. He would tell them about his purpose and confirm their identity. Sometimes, it did not matter for there was simply no time to waste. Lately, the Bakufu were much more vigilant, recruiting new warriors and working on improving weaponry and body gears. He had to be much more careful to not expose his identity.

_It was going to rain blood._

His heart ached. There was something biting him.

Why does it hurt so much?

_You do not seem to be very happy._

Her soft words resonated in his mind.

He loved Kenjutsu but he never liked killing. He only wanted to change the world. He only wanted to use his sword to help the deprived. And to do so, he would wield his sword to kill. That's the Heaven Justice.

Yet, why wasn't he happy?

The whisper of the footsteps interrupted his thoughts. He peeked out from the corner and spotted the Bakufu men. Unsheathing his katana, he kept an impassive face and started to follow them.

For now, he would not think.

…..

"Give that back, you vixen." Kamo said as he eyed the woman with shocked. Her action had somehow made him forgotten about his drunken state.

Tomoe had reached out for his katana and unsheathed it when he instructed her to help him to undress. It was a bad move, after all.

She was holding on to his katana in the correct manner but her stance was weird. He laughed, she looked pathetic, like a child holding onto a dangerous weapon. He bet she never knew how to wield a katana. In most cases, samurai women were not taught Kenjutsu. If they do learn how to use a weapon, it would most likely be a Naginata. Yet, she did not frighten him at all. Women were weak, anyway.

"Don't come any nearer," Tomoe said coldly as she glared at him, her hands grasping the katana.

"Be a good girl, Tomoe chan. You know the consequence," said Kamo as he stretched out an arm to receive the katana. He was trying to lure her to change her mind.

"I do not care," Tomoe retorted coldly and lifted the katana up such that the tip of the katana was pointed at his neck.

Kamo looked at her in annoyance. He was stunned by her action; the katana was known to be heavy for women. Yet, she held it up without much difficulty. Her poise was perfect but he was sure she lacked the skill. Seriously, did she really think she could hurt him with the katana? Kamo eyed the other katana at his side. He was sure that if he drew the other katana, he was able to disarm her easily but he did not want to hurt her. It would spoil his fun.

"Alright, what do you want, love?" Kamo said, his hands flew up, showing that he had given up.

She looked hard at him and commanded, "Leave me alone."

"Alright, I understand," Kamo nodded, he moved back a step and continued solemnly, "Have it your way."

She walked around him, with the tip of the katana still pointing to him. When her back was directly facing the door, Kamo spoke, "Now, would you return me the katana?"

She regarded him coldly and turned her head slightly backwards to survey the surrounding. Feeling safer, she bent down on her knees to place the katana on the floor while picking up the dropped towel at the same time. All this while, her eyes were fixed at him, while Kamo stood dutifully without making any move.

She turned around calmly to leave when he suddenly moved forward to grab her hand and pulled her to him.

…..

Golden eyes glistened in the dark alley. The bodyguards shouted and drew their swords to protect their leader. The men charged at the assassin, and were calmly decapitated. Their bodies fell heavily onto the ground, blood splattering, dying the ground red.

He glanced at them coldly, then turned to the last men standing. His main target. The leader already had his katana drawn, and stood in his defensive stance. Both rushed forward and their katana clashed against each other. The moonlight reflected on the katana and both could see the other's face.

"_He looks to be in his forties. "_

Kenshin's eyes widened at the thought. No! He was not supposed to think of his victims. He would not think! He did not need to know anything! He did not need to know what he was going to do!

His hands shook and biting his lips, he swung his katana down with great strength, forcing the leader to stumble and back away. Without losing another second, Kenshin charged at the leader, aiming the katana at the man's torso. When his katana contacted the man's body, tearing him apart, Kenshin's eyes looked on waveringly. He felt as if his hands were disconnected from his body, they were moving on their own, doing what was required, performing his job.

He looked down at the bodies that he slain, lying in a pool of their own blood. The smell of blood assaulted his nose. He needed to leave this place quickly.

He sheathed his sword and walked away. His job was done.

As he walked down the alley, his could vaguely feel his heart thumping calmly in his chest. He was alive yet he felt as if he was long dead. His hand touched his left cheek, the scar had stopped bleeding lately but he could still feel a tingling sensation on his cheek. He remembered the man who gave him the scar. _Kiyosato Akira. _The man was not as skilful as those whom he met but this man was the only one who fought so hard, almost desperately to live, even though he knew he could never win.

The scent of plum flower lingered in his mind.

Kenshin eyes hardened, he needed to find back his sanity_._

…

Kamo stared at her in pure shock. His face twisted with grim and hellish pain. His eyes slowly moved to glance down at his chest, the source of his agony. There he found his smoking pipe protruding out of his chest. The tip of his smoking pipe was sharp enough for thrusting; he had kept that as a defensive weapon for himself if he ever lost his katana during an attack. What irony.

"How?" he breathed painfully, his head feeling heavy and darkness began to cloud his eyes.

Tomoe merely stood at the side, watching his body stumbled to the ground.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Her heart was beating calmly. She had turned into a demon.

"Go. To. Hell." Tomoe whispered as she looked on gravely, waiting for the man to take his last breath.

….

Well, I did not choose Izuka for a few reasons. In my opinion, he is not interested in her but money. Moreover, I wanted to write something about the Choshu hans in another perspective. (They were portrayed as protagonists in the story)


	6. Chapter 6

Tomoe sat at the _genkan_ (entrance) of the kitchen. Her gaze was directed at her hands, but her eyes were hollow. She had washed them clean, yet she could still smell the blood. She made no move to retire to bed, she did not know why but somehow she knew she wanted to wait for him. Somehow she knew she would be all right if he was back. She did not feel safe and to be alone in the room was unbearable then.

Blood.

She recalled the routine on days he returned from work, he would promptly filled a basin with water, plunged his hands into the water and scrubbed feverishly until his hands were raw. Standing beside him, she watched him and offered the towel for him to dry his hands.

_White plum. _

The faint smell of her perfume could no longer calm her. Her hands were tainted with blood. The traitor's blood remained, like slime clung onto her skin. They were unclean. Her heart grew darker as the demons gnawed at her soul.

She felt a pressure on her shoulder and involuntarily jerked her shoulders. Looking up, her eyes met those of golden orbs. She recognized them immediately and relaxed as she did nothing else but stare at those eyes.

…_.You never know….we are so alike…._

Kenshin was back to the inn not a long while ago. He quickly head for the basin at the kitchen to wash off the smell of blood on his hands. He wanted and needed to do this. It was like a ritual. However, he was surprised to find Tomoe still awake, and sitting at the genkan as if, waiting for him. Indeed, there have been nights when she would come down to the kitchen quietly to greet him when he returned. But never wait upon him. He noticed she was in her night-wear, which was improper for a lady and Tomoe was not one to break the social law. Something was not right, he thought.

His sense heightened as the smell of blood became thicker. The foul smell of blood was much strong as he neared the kitchen. It was not from him. But - This must be a mistake for she should not smell of blood. Instinct told him that something must have happened. He called her name but she remained unmoved so he tried another two more times to catch her attention but she did not response. Then he walked up to her and tapped her shoulder. This time he got her attention.

When she turned to him, he was taken aback by her reaction. He was sure he saw a fickle of fear and anxiety in her eyes before they were back to coolness.

Kenshin asked, "What happened? Are you hurt?"

Tomoe stared at him, her eyes widened, betraying her shock.

_Why would he care? I was the one who…._

Her breath hitched in shock when she felt a warm sensation on her forehead. Kenshin had lifted a hand on her forehead to check her temperature. Her face was pale white and her skin was cold. She was not well, he noted. She did not move and closed her eyes.

…

"_What do we have here?" _hissed a familiar voice in her head. _"I remember when I first saw you. A young girl of strength and beauty. And now you have blossomed into a beautiful flower. "_

When Kiyosato reached the open door to the courtyard, his financee was too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice his entrance. He had greeted his soon to be father in law and was eager to see her. A slight mischievous smile formed on his face as he crept towards his finacee, his sandals not making any noise on the sand. When he was within a breath of her, Kiyosato put his hands on his beloved shoulders saying, "Fairest lady, how are you today?"

Kiyosato was so elated that he failed to notice her body tensed, until she spun around and slapped him hard.

"Don't!" she slapped his hands away. Her eyes were dark and cold as she glared at him. However, soon her eyes widened and she calmed herself when she realised who she just hit.

Kiyosato took a step back and felt his cheek. "Yukishiro san?" He sounded lost and looked betrayed. He was scared and he unwilling to admit that his betrothed hated his touch.

Tomoe lowered her head and bowed quickly before she walked swiftly away. She knew well she was running away, she did not want to be questioned; she did not want to explain her actions. _What must he think of her? _They were going to be married. She was not supposed to be afraid of his touch. Yet, the memory of the slimy hand on her skin was too much for her to bear to be touched.

She made him doubted her love for him. She drove him to his end. She had failed him.

…..

"Tomoe san?" Kenshin called her again when she seem to be in a dreamy state. She was not acting like her usual self, he thought. It worried him.

At the sound of her name, Tomoe frowned. Kiyosato never called her name once. They were too formal. She too, only addressed him as Kiyosato sama.

_Stop caring…stop calling my name….._

Kenshin should not show concern for her. He should not.

It was messing her brain. Her heart was in a chaos.

If she could go back to that day, she would tell Kiyosato. She would have leaned onto him for support. And he would still be by her side. They would be happy together.

_This is foolish._ She tried to tell herself sternly._This man is not Kiyosato sama. _ But her hands refused to stop shaking and her body refused to listen to her mind as she rested her head gently on his shoulder. She yearned for human touch, to soothe her disarranged heart.

Somehow, she trusted him. Unlike those lecherous men, Kenshin was a gentleman. He is still a child. His heart was still so pure. Yet, it is wrong. How could she trust this killer? How could she betray herself?

_But I felt safe with him. _

"What happened?" Kenshin asked again, his voice thick with concern. He knew something must have happened. He did not show any discomfort when she leaned on him and kept his hands on his side.

_There was a dead man in the bath house, I killed him. _She mentally thought. _No, that would not do. _

"There…." She whispered.

Kenshin lifted an eyebrow trying to catch what she had just whispered when they head a scream. He snapped his head up and his senses heightened to prepare for any attack. He felt her body tensed as her hands curled up on his chest.

"Dead…He's dead!" a voice shouted. Kenshin recognized it was one of the attendants' voice.

"…" Kenshin looked down at the young lady, who was grasping his haori.

_Did Tomoe find out? Did she..?_

The sound of the doors sliding open and footsteps resonated in the background interrupted Kenshin thought.

"Are we under attacked?" The Choshu hans were shouting.

"Return to the room," Kenshin instructed as he turned his gaze at the direction of the wall that separates the main house and the kitchen. His grasped on the katana tightened.

She looked at him blankly. _Doesn't he know? Why is he protecting her?_

There were footsteps storming towards the bathhouse and kitchen area. There was no time. They would be seen.

…

"Kami! It's Kamo! He's dead!"

"Find the murderer! Quick! Search for any suspicious looking person!"

The shouting and chaotic movement in the grounds of the inn woke up a number of households, as well as the drunken state of the Choshu han.

Kenshin glanced back at the main building. He had led Tomoe out of the kitchen area without being seen. He did not need the men to question him or her nor see her in her night-wear. They would have to take a round the corner to avoid the Choshu hans. When he heard that the floor was clear, he lead her quietly up the stairs back to his room.

"Stay here and don't come out," he whispered quickly to her. She ought to be asleep in this hour. No one would come to check on him at this moment, either. He was supposed to be still at work.

With that, he leaped out of the window.

Tomoe walked towards the window to catch his back but he was already gone.


	7. death

In his absence, she continued her work, writing and taking care of her father and Enishi. News arrived swiftly.

She glanced at the Sakura flowers in her hands. It was his last gift to her. Then she realised maybe he knew it all along that he was not going to come back. He should have stayed with her. Then does he have a choice? He was waiting for her approval. But he did not know it was not his fault when she slapped his hands away.

"_Be patient, I want to prove my worth to you."_

She did not need him to do anything for her. She loved him for who he was. He did not need to accomplish anything. She was contented with what he could give him. Yet, he never knew that for she kept her affections for him to herself.

"Tomoe, this is a gift from his parents." When the news of his death arrived, a relative of his handed her the tanto.

She accepted the tanto silently and bowed to show her respect.

"He died an honourable man," his relative continued.

_Duty unto death._ she thought. He was not coming back anymore.

Staring at the tanto, she wondered what Kiyosato's parents are trying to tell her? Are they telling her to join him? Are they telling her to do something? She had never felt so lost for such a long time since her mother died. And she could not remember grieving for anyone since her mother's death.

…...

"Tomoe, be good and take care of Enishi. Listen to your father." That was the last words she heard from mother before she passed away. She was nine years old then.

After the funeral, her aunt came and began to clear away her mother's things.

"What are you doing to mother's things?" she asked her aunt.

Her aunt ignored her and continued to instruct the movers to take away things that used to belongs to her mother. Tomoe noticed a familiar package, it held her mother's only silk-made kimono, which she knew was her mother's most precious gift from her family. How could they take it away from her mother?

"That is mother's, you can't take it away," she cried as reached out for the package, grabbing her aunt's hands.

"Let go!" her aunt scolded her and pushed her away but Tomoe refused and increased her grip on the package. "Toshiro look at how you teach your child!" she heard her aunt shrieking and ranting. "How are you and your children going to survive? There is not enough food and the Bakufu are not willing to increase your pay. You good-for-nothing. You are as good as a beggar! Now that there is another boy to feed. Do something, Toshiro. Or do you want your children to die in poverty. Do something!"

Feeling a pair of strong arms pulling her away from her aunt, Tomoe screamed at her aunt, "Stop! You can't take them away. You can't take mama's things away!" However, her pleads and protests was ignored as her father pulled her into a strong embrace. "Tomoe, hush, be a good girl," his father tried to chastise her.

"They are taking her away." she wailed and struggled to break free to chase after her aunt who was going to sell away her mother's kimono and other belongings. "They are taking mama away from me!" she cried, feeling frustrated and having so much anger. Angry at her aunt for taking away everything that she could have kept to remember her mother by. Angry at her father for not doing anything and restraining her. Angry at the kamis who took her mother away from her. Angry at the unfairness of the world.

"Hush, be a good girl," her father repeated, smoothing her head with his hand. But Tomoe only continue to wail, not noticing the silent tears that flowed down her father's cheeks.

…...

Staring at the tanto as she sat on the futon after Kenshin left, she wondered why these memories came back to her.

_Was it a sign?_ She wondered.

Maybe, soon, she would be joining them in the other world.

….


	8. Justify

When Kenshin returned to the ground floor, there was already a group of the Shishi surrounding the bathhouse. He pretended he just arrived back from his assignments and acted as if he had just learned about the attack.

"What happened?" he asked one of the Shishi.

"It's Kamo, he was stabbed in the heart," the Shishi explained and from his tone, Kenshin knew there was no way to revive the dead man. Katsura was kneeling beside Kamo and a doctor was sent for to check on him.

"There was no sign of trespassers, Katsura san," one of the Shishi reported back as he pushed passed the group and spoke to Katsura.

"I see," Katsura said and turned to talk to the doctor and some of the Shishi.

"Yo! Himura kun," Iizuka greeted when he came back after taking care of the bodies Kenshin assassinated. Kenshin gave him a nod and remained silent. Ignoring the cold gesture, Iizuka went forward and talked to a few Shishi, as he took a look at the dead body, he shook his head and said, "What a pity way to die."

"What do you mean?" one of the Shishi asked.

Before Iizuka could explain, one of the team leader among the Shishi commented, "He was obviously drunk and clearly going to take a bath," as he pointed at Kamo's loosened belt and haori. "He may have slipped and fell accidentally."

"Are you stupid? Even a drunk man would not do something so dumb to lose his life. I must say it has to be the Shinsengumi. They are after us for months," a Shishi scoffed and argued his point.

"He was drunk and his katana was lying carelessly on the floor," the team leader retorted.

"Maybe someone here is trying to push the blame," the Shishi said, his tone was accusing.

The team leader sneered, "What are you talking about?"

"You know very well if Kamo is dead, you will benefit the most," the Shishi said indifferently.

"Me?!" the team leader scorned, his glared at the younger Shishi with contempt, "What about you? Don't tell me you don't hold a grudge against Kamo for ruining your sister."

"How dare you!" the Shishi growled and lunged at the team leader at the mention of his sister's misfortune. He pushed the team leader onto the floor and started hitting the man.

Immediately, the other Shishi rushed to pull the younger Shishi away from the team leader and preventing him from landing another blow on the team leader.

"Stop!" Katsura commanded when the younger Shishi was successfully pulled away and the team leader was at a safe distance from being hit again. "There shall not be any fighting among us," Katsura said as he looked at the two. The younger Shishi apologized but his eyes were still shooting daggers at the team leader, who was glaring at him with equal disdain. "We will discuss this further after gathering more evidences," said Katsura and he dismissed the group.

Kenshin returned to the room shortly after, he slid opened the shoji door as quietly as he could. It was already past midnight and not seeing any light, he suspected she must be asleep. However, he was surprised to find her sitting on the futon, looking at her hands. It was unnerving.

"It's very late, you should have gone to sleep," said Kenshin as he closed the shoji.

Tomoe did not move an inch and merely stayed there like a statue.

"Don't worry, the body had been taken care of," Kenshin almost whispered as he stood by the shoji, not sure what else to say.

Tomoe continued to look at her hands and somehow Kenshin felt the gesture so familiar. Then something hit him, her presence at the kitchen, her nightwear, her unusual demeanour and the scent of blood that overpowers everything else. His eyes widened at the realization and his voice trembled slightly as he spoke, "You killed him." It was a statement not a question.

Tomoe lifted her head slowly and looked at him. His eyes bore into her eyes. So he knew after all. Will he kill her? Now, that she had eliminated one of his comrades.

He stared at her in disbelief, knowing that he was right. How could she be the one who killed Kamo? He needed to know why she did it. He needed to know who she really is. He needed to know what happened. "Why?" he asked, his voice cold and critical.

Tomoe lowered her eyes, wondering if telling him the reason would change anything. She was going to pay for her actions no matter what she says. That was the way it always had been. And she was prepared for it. After a moment, she answered, "He tried to hurt me. I did it to protect my honour."

Kenshin frowned at her words, not getting the meaning. His innocent mind searched for the meaning behind those words and when he realized them, he clenched his fists tightly. How he wished to kill that man for attacking her.

"Will you finish me off then?" Tomoe words startled him and he looked at her stunned. Her eyes were lifeless and dark.

He was an assassin, bearing the scent of blood. Little did he know, underneath the layer of plum blossom was tainted with the scent of blood. All of a suddenly, Kenshin felt he could hardly breathe. He felt as if he was drowning in some deep murky sea. He knew exactly what his job was and what he was doing out at night when he received the black letters. He wanted to create a new world where people live in peace. He wanted to protect her from the darkness of the war. She should not know the scent of blood, she should not know the wickedness of human souls, she should not be tainted.

She watched him move closer to her and closed her eyes. Her hands clasped as if she was saying her last prayer. The rustling of the clothes and the warmth radiated from his body told her that he was very near her. Preparing to feel the cold metallic blade sliced into her body, she was taken aback to feel the warmth of his hands covering hers. He had opened the palms of her hands and placed his hands over hers. She opened her eyes and stared at their hands intertwined. She wondered what his intention was but dismissed the thought as it was useless for someone who was going to die to think anymore.

"They are unclean," she whispered. Her eyes adopted a faraway look. She had killed too. Unlike him, she did not kill anyone blindly. She stared at her hands, seeing the red that never leaves. Her eyes met his again.

…_..Don't look at me with those eyes…_…

She could feel the warmth of his hands, the blood rushing through the veins. She had stopped a man's life, ripped off his chance of having a future. And now, she would be punished for that. But she was not afraid; death was not frightening to her.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice was soft and sounded unsure. She was so cold and pale as if she was lifeless.

His question caught her unaware and she wondered what does he mean. But a few moments later, she realised what he was asking, and shook her head, whispered, "No."

"Hn," Kenshin said, unsure to feel relief or other emotions knowing that she was unhurt and he stood up to move outside. He supposed she would not want the company of any male at this moment. He would give her privacy. "Rest well."

"Why don't you kill me?" she whispered as she watched him slid open the shoji again to walk out of the room.

"That man deserves to die," Keshin replied curtly. He hated men who indulged in pleasure, ruining a woman's virtue. He knew some of the Shishi would seek out the pleasure quarters when they were off duty and was fine with it, even Katsura often spend time with Ikumatsu at the geisha house. But to force a woman was a different story.

"Did he?" Tomoe asked, her voice sounded like a lost child.

Kenshin did not answer her but walked out and shut the shoji door.

Her questions struck him.

_Did he? _

_Did they too deserve to die? _Those men he assassinated. The image of the young bodyguard who gave him the scar came upon his mind. Somehow he could not forget him – Kiyosato Akira- That name burnt his soul.


End file.
